Gender reveal: At the sonogram in a few days, we should find out the sex(es) of the babies. Neither of us have any intuition either way, but we are both hoping for at least one girl. The idea of having two boys will take some getting used to. I'd always assumed that if I had children, I'd have a daughter. At least up to my great-grandmother, everyone in my maternal line has had only girls. And all of those girls have been raised by single mothers, in a multi-generational household. So the mother-daughter relationship has always been especially prominent in my life. While I will hopefully be the generation that breaks the single parenthood trend, I would like to have a daughter.
Car purchasing: We are planning to buy a car to more easily cart around the twinnies. Specifically, to get us all to and from the hospital and to take them to doctors appointments. Beyond that, I am suffering from a failure of imagination. What does one do with babies and where does one take them in a car? Neither of us have owned a car in about a decade. It's been about 9 years for me and 11 years for Jason. If we do get an au pair, I imagine her to be the primary user of the car during the week. But where would she take them? The park, the library, the supermarket- these things are all walking distance. And I imagine she will be trying to kill time by walking them places. It's not like she will have somewhere else to be. Anyway, we are really dragging our feet on deciding what we want, looking at options, or making a purchase. It all seems so unpleasant. Very often in my life I want a car, but never enough to go through the hassle and expense of actually getting one. I'm very interested to see if the prospect of taking two one-week olds on the metro to their suburban pediatrician will be sufficient motivation.
Monday, October 24, 2016
Saturday, October 22, 2016
Maternity Clothes
I expected to hate shopping for maternity clothes and I was right. I hate shopping for anything that is not groceries in general. Shopping for clothes because I have outgrown all of my clothes and expect to continue to get fatter is even more unpleasant than usual. In general, maternity clothes are hideous, and I'm offended that most of them were even manufactured. Who are these clothes even for? Neon leggings, tank tops, t-shirts with idiotic phrases on them, and slouchy sweaters. Don't designers know that pregnant women are just...women? Who have lives and jobs and need to leave the house looking like adults? Also, why are these clothes so clingy? This is only cute if you were skinny pre-pregnancy and your only fat is your bump. Otherwise, you still just look fat, with an added bump. Not cute.
The one exception- maternity jeans. These are genius. Denim legs with leggings on top. Why aren't all pants made this way?
The one exception- maternity jeans. These are genius. Denim legs with leggings on top. Why aren't all pants made this way?
Monday, October 17, 2016
Thoughts on Various Baby-Related Things
Things I've had a lot of conversations about or have been forced to think about in the past few weeks:
What hospital are you delivering at/what practice are you using? This is the FIRST question everyone my age who lives in DC asks me and I think it is totally bizarre. I have never thought about what hospital someone delivered at, and would never have thought to ask. I'm using the practice that I've been going to for gynecologist services for 8 years because that seemed to make sense. I'm delivering at the hospital they deliver at. But this answer is absolutely not sufficient! On at least two occasions, I have been invited to reconsider my choice. People in (my socio-economic group) DC are really gung-ho about the midwife practices are their chosen hospital, and are really insistent that an expectant mom be totally comfortable with her place of delivery and at least tour different hospital options and interview different OBs (if you must forgo a midwife) to make sure everything is the right fit. On the face of it, this seems like decent advice. But really? Tour multiple hospitals? What exactly am I looking for? Midwives don't take high-risk (twin) pregnancies. My doctor seems fine. What kind of information would I glean about other OBs if I met different ones? This seems like a lot of work. I am not buying the hospital. This will (please, god) only be a few days of my life. The only thing I care about are the level of services for premature babies, so I researched that. My hospital is equipped for babies at 32+ weeks gestation. If I go into labor before 32 weeks, (please, god, no) I'll go to a different hospital with higher level services.
I love my doula, you should use her. This is all well and good, but did you know that doulas can run over $1500? This is on top of the childbirth and prenatal yoga classes you should be taking, which also cost hundreds of dollars. Enlightened and progressive childbearing is very expensive. And also very pro-midwife and anti-epidural, which I find obnoxious. That said, I am thinking about getting a doula, because I don't have family around, Jason is prone to fainting, and I would like to not be completely alone in the delivery room. But I go back and forth, because if I end of having a scheduled c-section, I'm not sure how useful a doula would be.
Natural childbirth. Somewhat related to the above two. The obsession with natural childbirth and breastfeeding (see below) has always been annoying to me, but now that I am pregnant with twins, I have a very visceral reaction to it. It's very nice that the pain of childbirth helped you self-actualize, and c-sections are evil, and your doula and midwife are your best friends, etc, etc. This doesn't really apply to me. Unless you've had twins or a similarly high-risk pregnancy, I'm not all that interested in your birthing preferences or goals. I'm very grateful for the medicalization of pregnancy and childbirth because mothers and babies used to die at much higher rates than they do now. And it makes me feel very vulnerable to think that, absent doctors, hospitals, and medical intervention, the twinnies and I would be good candidates to die during childbirth. I'm pretty much required to have an epidural (and I want one! I take medicine when I have a headache for heaven's sake), I will deliver in an operating room even if I don't have a C-section, and there's a good chance I'll have to have a C-section anyway. I am ok-no, I am thankful for these things.
Birth plans. I still don't fully understand what these are. After reading five pregnancy books, I think I understand this to be a list of your preferences with regard to every type of potential intervention- epidurals, fetal monitoring, timing of induction, cord-clamping, formula, etc. I guess this is fine, but I don't pretend to know better than my doctors on any of these things, nor do I think I have as much say in them as singleton mothers. My one preference is not to schedule the C-section in advance because of baby position, absent other complications, because that can change. Other than that my birth plan is: hospital, pain medication, all three of us get out of there alive.
Breastfeeding. Sigh. I don't even want to address this because it gets so much more attention than I think is necessary. I just don't think it's that important- I'm a big proponent of "fed is best!" That said, people seem curious about whether I am going to attempt to nurse two babies. I do plan to try to breastfeed while I'm home, but this seems really hard, so I might give up right away. Also, even if I am able to breastfeed, I am fine supplementing with formula from the get-go, and I'm very hopeful the twinnies are amenable to switching between the two. I am going to try to do this because, while home, nursing does seem like the easiest, cheapest, most straight-forward option- once it's well established and absent complications. Also, I am hoping it will help me lose the massive amount of weight I'm going to gain. But I don't really buy that breastmilk is liquid gold or that nursing needs to be a priority if it's not working for everyone. I have read a lot of the research on pregnancy and breastfeeding and decided that guidelines range from educated hypotheses to wild speculation. I am logically convinced that breastfeeding is at least not a bad thing, because your body produces food for your baby right after delivery, so it seems like you should use it, if possible. And I understand that some women enjoy (?) the nursing relationship. What I don't really understand is pumping. (Aside from relieving your own discomfort while you are still nursing or maintaining your supply during something temporary like a NICU stay.) Once I go back to work, I don't understand the point of pumping breastmilk into a bottle for someone else to feed the twins. How is this natural? I can't accept that nature intended for me to hook up to an electric machine three times a day while locked in a closet, fielding calls and emails, in order to obtain a few ounces of something that is easily obtainable at the supermarket. Even if there were rock solid evidence that pumped breastmilk is better for a 4 month old than high quality formula, I'm not sure I would do this. I think I'll have enough on my mind as it is. And I accept not nursing as a reasonable tradeoff to having a full-time out-of-the-home job. But I don't think that there are even any studies that distinguish between breastfeeding and pumping, which seems like a big conflation to me. If there are benefits to breastfeeding, doesn't it seem like some of those benefits (a lot of them?) would be related to the physical relationship of nursing? (Having no firsthand knowledge on the mechanics of any of this, I reserve the right to change my mind on all of this.)
Paid Leave: The thing I am most angry and sad about. I am offended, as an employee and human being, that while I am giving birth, I will be taking a sick day. Many people assume that as a government employee, I have excellent benefits. I don't. Also, the majority of people I talk to don't understand that FMLA is not paid? Or that short-term disability is not a common worker benefit anymore? My job is flexible in that they don't really care if or when I come back to work, which is very nice, but none of that time is paid. After my accrued sick and vacation time run out, that's it. And that's about oh, 7 weeks. I know this is a bigger problem for other people than for me. We won't starve if I don't go back to work at 7 weeks. And seeing as this may be my only maternity leave, I certainly plan to take more than 7 weeks. But it still sucks to have no structural support at all for this, and it will be a financial hardship, especially considering the childcare costs we are facing for two infants (a whole separate post!) We've already refinanced our house to try to anticipate some of the blow, and this is the motivation to continue airbnb-ing as long as we can. Also, no more tasting menus.
What hospital are you delivering at/what practice are you using? This is the FIRST question everyone my age who lives in DC asks me and I think it is totally bizarre. I have never thought about what hospital someone delivered at, and would never have thought to ask. I'm using the practice that I've been going to for gynecologist services for 8 years because that seemed to make sense. I'm delivering at the hospital they deliver at. But this answer is absolutely not sufficient! On at least two occasions, I have been invited to reconsider my choice. People in (my socio-economic group) DC are really gung-ho about the midwife practices are their chosen hospital, and are really insistent that an expectant mom be totally comfortable with her place of delivery and at least tour different hospital options and interview different OBs (if you must forgo a midwife) to make sure everything is the right fit. On the face of it, this seems like decent advice. But really? Tour multiple hospitals? What exactly am I looking for? Midwives don't take high-risk (twin) pregnancies. My doctor seems fine. What kind of information would I glean about other OBs if I met different ones? This seems like a lot of work. I am not buying the hospital. This will (please, god) only be a few days of my life. The only thing I care about are the level of services for premature babies, so I researched that. My hospital is equipped for babies at 32+ weeks gestation. If I go into labor before 32 weeks, (please, god, no) I'll go to a different hospital with higher level services.
I love my doula, you should use her. This is all well and good, but did you know that doulas can run over $1500? This is on top of the childbirth and prenatal yoga classes you should be taking, which also cost hundreds of dollars. Enlightened and progressive childbearing is very expensive. And also very pro-midwife and anti-epidural, which I find obnoxious. That said, I am thinking about getting a doula, because I don't have family around, Jason is prone to fainting, and I would like to not be completely alone in the delivery room. But I go back and forth, because if I end of having a scheduled c-section, I'm not sure how useful a doula would be.
Natural childbirth. Somewhat related to the above two. The obsession with natural childbirth and breastfeeding (see below) has always been annoying to me, but now that I am pregnant with twins, I have a very visceral reaction to it. It's very nice that the pain of childbirth helped you self-actualize, and c-sections are evil, and your doula and midwife are your best friends, etc, etc. This doesn't really apply to me. Unless you've had twins or a similarly high-risk pregnancy, I'm not all that interested in your birthing preferences or goals. I'm very grateful for the medicalization of pregnancy and childbirth because mothers and babies used to die at much higher rates than they do now. And it makes me feel very vulnerable to think that, absent doctors, hospitals, and medical intervention, the twinnies and I would be good candidates to die during childbirth. I'm pretty much required to have an epidural (and I want one! I take medicine when I have a headache for heaven's sake), I will deliver in an operating room even if I don't have a C-section, and there's a good chance I'll have to have a C-section anyway. I am ok-no, I am thankful for these things.
Birth plans. I still don't fully understand what these are. After reading five pregnancy books, I think I understand this to be a list of your preferences with regard to every type of potential intervention- epidurals, fetal monitoring, timing of induction, cord-clamping, formula, etc. I guess this is fine, but I don't pretend to know better than my doctors on any of these things, nor do I think I have as much say in them as singleton mothers. My one preference is not to schedule the C-section in advance because of baby position, absent other complications, because that can change. Other than that my birth plan is: hospital, pain medication, all three of us get out of there alive.
Breastfeeding. Sigh. I don't even want to address this because it gets so much more attention than I think is necessary. I just don't think it's that important- I'm a big proponent of "fed is best!" That said, people seem curious about whether I am going to attempt to nurse two babies. I do plan to try to breastfeed while I'm home, but this seems really hard, so I might give up right away. Also, even if I am able to breastfeed, I am fine supplementing with formula from the get-go, and I'm very hopeful the twinnies are amenable to switching between the two. I am going to try to do this because, while home, nursing does seem like the easiest, cheapest, most straight-forward option- once it's well established and absent complications. Also, I am hoping it will help me lose the massive amount of weight I'm going to gain. But I don't really buy that breastmilk is liquid gold or that nursing needs to be a priority if it's not working for everyone. I have read a lot of the research on pregnancy and breastfeeding and decided that guidelines range from educated hypotheses to wild speculation. I am logically convinced that breastfeeding is at least not a bad thing, because your body produces food for your baby right after delivery, so it seems like you should use it, if possible. And I understand that some women enjoy (?) the nursing relationship. What I don't really understand is pumping. (Aside from relieving your own discomfort while you are still nursing or maintaining your supply during something temporary like a NICU stay.) Once I go back to work, I don't understand the point of pumping breastmilk into a bottle for someone else to feed the twins. How is this natural? I can't accept that nature intended for me to hook up to an electric machine three times a day while locked in a closet, fielding calls and emails, in order to obtain a few ounces of something that is easily obtainable at the supermarket. Even if there were rock solid evidence that pumped breastmilk is better for a 4 month old than high quality formula, I'm not sure I would do this. I think I'll have enough on my mind as it is. And I accept not nursing as a reasonable tradeoff to having a full-time out-of-the-home job. But I don't think that there are even any studies that distinguish between breastfeeding and pumping, which seems like a big conflation to me. If there are benefits to breastfeeding, doesn't it seem like some of those benefits (a lot of them?) would be related to the physical relationship of nursing? (Having no firsthand knowledge on the mechanics of any of this, I reserve the right to change my mind on all of this.)
Paid Leave: The thing I am most angry and sad about. I am offended, as an employee and human being, that while I am giving birth, I will be taking a sick day. Many people assume that as a government employee, I have excellent benefits. I don't. Also, the majority of people I talk to don't understand that FMLA is not paid? Or that short-term disability is not a common worker benefit anymore? My job is flexible in that they don't really care if or when I come back to work, which is very nice, but none of that time is paid. After my accrued sick and vacation time run out, that's it. And that's about oh, 7 weeks. I know this is a bigger problem for other people than for me. We won't starve if I don't go back to work at 7 weeks. And seeing as this may be my only maternity leave, I certainly plan to take more than 7 weeks. But it still sucks to have no structural support at all for this, and it will be a financial hardship, especially considering the childcare costs we are facing for two infants (a whole separate post!) We've already refinanced our house to try to anticipate some of the blow, and this is the motivation to continue airbnb-ing as long as we can. Also, no more tasting menus.
Sunday, October 16, 2016
Weeks 1-16, a Timeline
Weeks 2-4: It's possible I could be pregnant, so I shouldn't drink too much over July 4 weekend. Proceed to drink a lot every single night of July 4 weekend.
Week 4: I'm in terrible pain and I think I am dying or have abdominal cancer. I go to the doctor, who tells me I am pregnant, but that these are not normal symptoms.
Week 4-6: Terrible pains continue to wake me up at night and cause me to double over. Expect and wait to miscarry or be told I am having a ectopic (tubal) pregnancy.
Week 6: First sonogram. I'm expecting bad news, so am not too surprised when the doctor says, "that's weird." I look over and see two blobs on the screen. "There are two of them," I announce. I look over to Jason who is being led out by a nurse because he is about to faint. We're told that one is smaller than the other, there is only one heartbeat, and it's likely that one will be "disappear." This is not great news for the other one either.
Week 6-8: I have no pregnancy symptoms. I read a lot about how lack of morning sickness is a bad sign. Wait to miscarry.
Week 8: Second sonogram. There are still two. They are both growing and both have heartbeats. Everything looks great.
Weeks 8-10: Cry a lot. Especially during the day when I am trying to work and at night when I am trying to sleep. The sweet image I have in my head of snuggling and bonding with one little baby has been shattered and I'm not able to replace it with an image of me with two babies. (I'm still working on this.) Week 9 I start spotting. I have renewed fears about miscarrying. I have a third emergency sonogram which shows everything is fine. I decide that my anxiety is bad for the twins and stop thinking about...everything.
Weeks 10-12: I am largely numb/neutral, although I note going into the 12 week sonogram that this is the first time I'm not expecting everything to be wrong, and will be very upset if it is. I try to read information about carrying a healthy twin pregnancy to term, but all of the potential complications and statistics terrify me and I start to cry again. I do start to feel nauseous and have very strong food aversions and preferences. I am also tired all the time. These seem like good signs, albeit late in the game.
Week 12: Fourth sonogram. Everything is fine. I have very low probabilities of chromosomal abnormalities and we decide not to do any further testing.
Weeks 12-14: I start sharing the news. This is sometimes fun but often exhausting. Women who have had babies feel compelled to share their birth stories with me, especially if they are traumatic. I really don't enjoy this. I start showing all of a sudden during week 14 and start taking weekly selfies of my stomach. Worry that I am going to gain 50 pounds in a matter of weeks. I'm supposed to start feeling better at this point, but I can't even brush my teeth in the morning without getting sick.
Weeks 14-16: I feel better but my stomach does not look any bigger in my 16 week selfie than my 14 week selfie. Worry that twins are not growing and that something has gone wrong. Comfort myself with the knowledge that if anything does go wrong over the next month or so, there is absolutely nothing I can do. Once I can feel them moving, and they reach the point of potential viability, my decisions and medical interventions will matter. That will be more stressful.
Week 16: Sixth OB appointment. Everything seems fine, but no sono, and the Doppler is not sophisticated enough to detect two heartbeats simultaneously. I don't really see the purpose of this appointment, but I am noticeably bigger than at the beginning of the week, so I feel better than they are at least still growing. That night, I lean too close to the open flame on the stove while cooking and don't notice for a long time that my stomach is very hot. Worry that I have cooked the twins. Thankfully have a sono scheduled for week 18.
Week 4: I'm in terrible pain and I think I am dying or have abdominal cancer. I go to the doctor, who tells me I am pregnant, but that these are not normal symptoms.
Week 4-6: Terrible pains continue to wake me up at night and cause me to double over. Expect and wait to miscarry or be told I am having a ectopic (tubal) pregnancy.
Week 6: First sonogram. I'm expecting bad news, so am not too surprised when the doctor says, "that's weird." I look over and see two blobs on the screen. "There are two of them," I announce. I look over to Jason who is being led out by a nurse because he is about to faint. We're told that one is smaller than the other, there is only one heartbeat, and it's likely that one will be "disappear." This is not great news for the other one either.
Week 6-8: I have no pregnancy symptoms. I read a lot about how lack of morning sickness is a bad sign. Wait to miscarry.
Week 8: Second sonogram. There are still two. They are both growing and both have heartbeats. Everything looks great.
Weeks 8-10: Cry a lot. Especially during the day when I am trying to work and at night when I am trying to sleep. The sweet image I have in my head of snuggling and bonding with one little baby has been shattered and I'm not able to replace it with an image of me with two babies. (I'm still working on this.) Week 9 I start spotting. I have renewed fears about miscarrying. I have a third emergency sonogram which shows everything is fine. I decide that my anxiety is bad for the twins and stop thinking about...everything.
Weeks 10-12: I am largely numb/neutral, although I note going into the 12 week sonogram that this is the first time I'm not expecting everything to be wrong, and will be very upset if it is. I try to read information about carrying a healthy twin pregnancy to term, but all of the potential complications and statistics terrify me and I start to cry again. I do start to feel nauseous and have very strong food aversions and preferences. I am also tired all the time. These seem like good signs, albeit late in the game.
Week 12: Fourth sonogram. Everything is fine. I have very low probabilities of chromosomal abnormalities and we decide not to do any further testing.
Weeks 12-14: I start sharing the news. This is sometimes fun but often exhausting. Women who have had babies feel compelled to share their birth stories with me, especially if they are traumatic. I really don't enjoy this. I start showing all of a sudden during week 14 and start taking weekly selfies of my stomach. Worry that I am going to gain 50 pounds in a matter of weeks. I'm supposed to start feeling better at this point, but I can't even brush my teeth in the morning without getting sick.
Weeks 14-16: I feel better but my stomach does not look any bigger in my 16 week selfie than my 14 week selfie. Worry that twins are not growing and that something has gone wrong. Comfort myself with the knowledge that if anything does go wrong over the next month or so, there is absolutely nothing I can do. Once I can feel them moving, and they reach the point of potential viability, my decisions and medical interventions will matter. That will be more stressful.
Week 16: Sixth OB appointment. Everything seems fine, but no sono, and the Doppler is not sophisticated enough to detect two heartbeats simultaneously. I don't really see the purpose of this appointment, but I am noticeably bigger than at the beginning of the week, so I feel better than they are at least still growing. That night, I lean too close to the open flame on the stove while cooking and don't notice for a long time that my stomach is very hot. Worry that I have cooked the twins. Thankfully have a sono scheduled for week 18.
Saturday, October 15, 2016
In the past year
Almost exactly a year since we last heard from me! I had to update my blogger profile to reflect my aging out of my twenties...which happened over a year ago. Since then:
- I have become (slightly) less of a basket case about crime and safety. The fact of time passing and talking to a counselor helped with this. Crime is still much higher than I would like in my neighborhood, and it's definitely something I take into account when thinking about how long I want to live here, but it's not something I worry about on daily basis, and I don't get panic attacks anymore when I hear about a mugging or a shooting. I hear fewer gunshots, thankfully. Although on the anniversary of Jason's attack, there were 4 assaults by groups of teenagers in one week in the area. That made me very unhappy. The timing makes me thing it has something to do with a beginning of the school year ritual/hazing/initiation thing.
- I rotated to a new team at work, the team I originally thought I would like to work in, and just found out I am permanently placed there. I am no longer a probationary employee! I'm really fulfilling my childhood dream of becoming a permanent government audi...oh, wait.
- We turned our home into a boarding house basically, with a basement renter and Airbnb-ers in our guest room over the summer. We've continued with the Airbnb-ers into the fall, after our summer basement renter moved out. Having guests is a little annoying, but so far, worth the extra money. I think we've made about $4000 since June, including the basement rent. I'll be sad to lose the money in the Spring (see below) although I'm am hoping that inauguration weekend will be very lucrative.
- I found out I was pregnant with twins. This is what the next several posts are likely to be about.
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
October Updates
I'm on a work trip in Texas right now, but I have a free afternoon with no access to a car, so I'm taking advantage of the time to hang out in my hotel room. And since I have been so derelict in blogging recently, I thought I'd post.
Things that have happened in the past month:
My mom came to visit and we hosted a 30th birthday/housewarming party
I went to Ohio for work
I became aware of a dog park controversy that is sweeping the neighborhood
Sal had dental surgery again and had two of his cute little fangs pulled out
Jason was jumped by a group of neighborhood teenagers
Because of that last one, my crime fears and wariness of the neighborhood have become even more intensified- and they were already quite high. I don't know what to do to get over this, or be constructive about it. Bad stuff is happening all the time, all over the city, and it's basically all I can think about. Everyone told me it would get better once the weather cooled down. Well, it hasn't. It feels like right when we bought a house, DC descended into lawlessness. Twice a week, neighbors post to our police district listserv to ask about sounds of gunshots they called in. (This is just in our police district, so, by definition, near the house.) Half the time they are in the middle of the day. I was already afraid to go out at night, and now I'm afraid during the day as well. Even in neighborhoods that I considered fully "transitioned," people have to duck from bullets while eating at an outdoor cafe.
Thankfully there was hurricane weather when my mom came to visit, which kept the crazies inside- well, off my street anyway. DC had the same amount of shootings as usual.
My life is basically a gentrification satire right now. The dog park thing is annoying because it has set the new, younger residents, against the older, more established residents. Everyone is trying to be civil, but there is a lot of animosity about it- at meetings, on the listservs, and on the NextDoor app. It's sad to me how active people can be in opposing things, rather than being active in making things happen. I don't have a dog, and so I don't care all that much about the dog park itself, but I am pro-community investment and development, pretty much always. Bikeshares, dog parks, restaurants, heck, in-fill metro stops- bring it on, I say. So, I think the anti-dog park arguments are dumb. And I hate how an opportunity to spend city money on an investment in the neighborhood has degenerated into a self-righteous fight about which side can be more "inclusive and accommodating" to the vocal minority that opposes all change on the grounds that it is change.
I'll try to end on a positive note. The party went really well. It was great to be able to host my mom and Monica overnight and still have plenty of space. And to have space on the first floor for something like 30 people at a time, since it is an open floor plan. We're having at least six houseguests for Thanksgiving. That is one positive aspect of having bought a house.
Things that have happened in the past month:
My mom came to visit and we hosted a 30th birthday/housewarming party
I went to Ohio for work
I became aware of a dog park controversy that is sweeping the neighborhood
Sal had dental surgery again and had two of his cute little fangs pulled out
Jason was jumped by a group of neighborhood teenagers
Because of that last one, my crime fears and wariness of the neighborhood have become even more intensified- and they were already quite high. I don't know what to do to get over this, or be constructive about it. Bad stuff is happening all the time, all over the city, and it's basically all I can think about. Everyone told me it would get better once the weather cooled down. Well, it hasn't. It feels like right when we bought a house, DC descended into lawlessness. Twice a week, neighbors post to our police district listserv to ask about sounds of gunshots they called in. (This is just in our police district, so, by definition, near the house.) Half the time they are in the middle of the day. I was already afraid to go out at night, and now I'm afraid during the day as well. Even in neighborhoods that I considered fully "transitioned," people have to duck from bullets while eating at an outdoor cafe.
Thankfully there was hurricane weather when my mom came to visit, which kept the crazies inside- well, off my street anyway. DC had the same amount of shootings as usual.
My life is basically a gentrification satire right now. The dog park thing is annoying because it has set the new, younger residents, against the older, more established residents. Everyone is trying to be civil, but there is a lot of animosity about it- at meetings, on the listservs, and on the NextDoor app. It's sad to me how active people can be in opposing things, rather than being active in making things happen. I don't have a dog, and so I don't care all that much about the dog park itself, but I am pro-community investment and development, pretty much always. Bikeshares, dog parks, restaurants, heck, in-fill metro stops- bring it on, I say. So, I think the anti-dog park arguments are dumb. And I hate how an opportunity to spend city money on an investment in the neighborhood has degenerated into a self-righteous fight about which side can be more "inclusive and accommodating" to the vocal minority that opposes all change on the grounds that it is change.
I'll try to end on a positive note. The party went really well. It was great to be able to host my mom and Monica overnight and still have plenty of space. And to have space on the first floor for something like 30 people at a time, since it is an open floor plan. We're having at least six houseguests for Thanksgiving. That is one positive aspect of having bought a house.
Monday, September 7, 2015
Very long weekend
On Friday, I "flexed," so today is my fourth day off of work in a row. I've basically been waiting for this stretch of time since I changed my schedule about four months ago. Seeing as we are on a travel moratorium, my plans included things like painting my nails, going for a run, checking out the neighborhood library, and happy hour-ing on a patio. I did not actually go on the planned run, but it's the thought that counts.
Since it was our anniversary and we are on a stay-cation, we did some restaurant exploring in our new part of town, and went to Republic (Takoma Park), Crane and Turtle and Chez Billy (Petworth), and Denizens Brewing and Moorenko's Ice Cream (Silver Spring). Although Republic is great and walking distance, Crane and Turtle comes closest to filling the hole in my heart left by Rose's Luxury. It's tiny, adorable, and has really good and interesting food. Chez Billy was good, but not good enough to make me want to go back. Denizen's is fun because they have a beer garden, but in terms of local breweries, I'd much rather get a growler from 3 Stars or Hellbender, which are also much closer to us. I'm so happy that DC now has so many good local breweries!
As an aside, I love the bus stop in front of our house that gets us to Petworth in 10 minutes or the Takoma metro in 5 minutes. It has such a direct route and never sits in traffic. It also makes it so I can go out at night without having to walk from the metro, which I am now afraid to do. Provided I don't get attacked on the bus itself, this might be my favorite bus in DC.
Last night, we decided we'd make a fancy Italian meal to celebrate at home, with a bottle of wine we brought back from Italy. But we were hot and tired from walking to Silver Spring, so we made a fancier version of our normal dinner. Pesto, goat cheese, and sun-dried tomato pizza, with arugula, prosciutto, and mozzarella salad. We have pizza, salad, and wine for dinner probably once a week, but I don't get tired of it.
And homemade chocolate mousse, not pictured, which we brought over to our neighbors' house later in the evening, for a four person dessert and cocktail party. We like this couple a lot, and they have two little kids, so they describe themselves as captive in their homes after bedtime. This works out for us since we are home a lot also. We've spent a couple nights hanging out in their house after their kids are asleep, and we've had a really good time. They make really good and plentiful drinks.
This weekend was decidedly not crime free in DC, although I now expect that from summer long weekends. Even in my beloved upper NW! It's sad that I am eager for bad weather because I hope it will temper the crime wave. There was a homicide in our neighborhood on Saturday night. However, this only caused me to lose one day to spiraling anxiety, instead of weeks. Progress!
In other news, our alarm company swore that nothing under 30 pounds would set off the motion detectors. Guess what 9 pound ball of fur has set it off THREE times? We hid it in a drawer for a week (the sensor, not the cat), and now have it set at a less sensitive setting, so we'll see if that helps.
Next on the agenda today is making homemade salsa, with some jalapeños a neighbor gave me from her CSA, as well as some make-ahead pasta dishes. This upcoming week should be relatively busy since I have a mentor training session on Tuesday night (trying out this program, NOT my previous terrible one), and we are going to a concert on Wednesday night.
Since it was our anniversary and we are on a stay-cation, we did some restaurant exploring in our new part of town, and went to Republic (Takoma Park), Crane and Turtle and Chez Billy (Petworth), and Denizens Brewing and Moorenko's Ice Cream (Silver Spring). Although Republic is great and walking distance, Crane and Turtle comes closest to filling the hole in my heart left by Rose's Luxury. It's tiny, adorable, and has really good and interesting food. Chez Billy was good, but not good enough to make me want to go back. Denizen's is fun because they have a beer garden, but in terms of local breweries, I'd much rather get a growler from 3 Stars or Hellbender, which are also much closer to us. I'm so happy that DC now has so many good local breweries!
As an aside, I love the bus stop in front of our house that gets us to Petworth in 10 minutes or the Takoma metro in 5 minutes. It has such a direct route and never sits in traffic. It also makes it so I can go out at night without having to walk from the metro, which I am now afraid to do. Provided I don't get attacked on the bus itself, this might be my favorite bus in DC.
Last night, we decided we'd make a fancy Italian meal to celebrate at home, with a bottle of wine we brought back from Italy. But we were hot and tired from walking to Silver Spring, so we made a fancier version of our normal dinner. Pesto, goat cheese, and sun-dried tomato pizza, with arugula, prosciutto, and mozzarella salad. We have pizza, salad, and wine for dinner probably once a week, but I don't get tired of it.
 |
| Anniversary dinner, same as the other dinners...but better. |
And homemade chocolate mousse, not pictured, which we brought over to our neighbors' house later in the evening, for a four person dessert and cocktail party. We like this couple a lot, and they have two little kids, so they describe themselves as captive in their homes after bedtime. This works out for us since we are home a lot also. We've spent a couple nights hanging out in their house after their kids are asleep, and we've had a really good time. They make really good and plentiful drinks.
This weekend was decidedly not crime free in DC, although I now expect that from summer long weekends. Even in my beloved upper NW! It's sad that I am eager for bad weather because I hope it will temper the crime wave. There was a homicide in our neighborhood on Saturday night. However, this only caused me to lose one day to spiraling anxiety, instead of weeks. Progress!
In other news, our alarm company swore that nothing under 30 pounds would set off the motion detectors. Guess what 9 pound ball of fur has set it off THREE times? We hid it in a drawer for a week (the sensor, not the cat), and now have it set at a less sensitive setting, so we'll see if that helps.
Next on the agenda today is making homemade salsa, with some jalapeños a neighbor gave me from her CSA, as well as some make-ahead pasta dishes. This upcoming week should be relatively busy since I have a mentor training session on Tuesday night (trying out this program, NOT my previous terrible one), and we are going to a concert on Wednesday night.
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