Gender reveal: At the sonogram in a few days, we should find out the sex(es) of the babies. Neither of us have any intuition either way, but we are both hoping for at least one girl. The idea of having two boys will take some getting used to. I'd always assumed that if I had children, I'd have a daughter. At least up to my great-grandmother, everyone in my maternal line has had only girls. And all of those girls have been raised by single mothers, in a multi-generational household. So the mother-daughter relationship has always been especially prominent in my life. While I will hopefully be the generation that breaks the single parenthood trend, I would like to have a daughter.
Car purchasing: We are planning to buy a car to more easily cart around the twinnies. Specifically, to get us all to and from the hospital and to take them to doctors appointments. Beyond that, I am suffering from a failure of imagination. What does one do with babies and where does one take them in a car? Neither of us have owned a car in about a decade. It's been about 9 years for me and 11 years for Jason. If we do get an au pair, I imagine her to be the primary user of the car during the week. But where would she take them? The park, the library, the supermarket- these things are all walking distance. And I imagine she will be trying to kill time by walking them places. It's not like she will have somewhere else to be. Anyway, we are really dragging our feet on deciding what we want, looking at options, or making a purchase. It all seems so unpleasant. Very often in my life I want a car, but never enough to go through the hassle and expense of actually getting one. I'm very interested to see if the prospect of taking two one-week olds on the metro to their suburban pediatrician will be sufficient motivation.
I also hope you have a girl, b/c I have a lot more baby girl stuff than baby boy stuff to give you.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand your car logic. If you only need it for doctors' appointments, how is it cost-effective? Couldn't you take a thousand $20 taxi trips before the car becomes the cheaper option?
I guess, although we have been wanting a car anyway, and it seems like getting around with two babies without one will be hard. I just don't know where around is. Also, taxis don't have car seats and I can't safely hold two of them in my lap.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it the same for you? Why do you have a car? You don't drive to work.
Can you go to the doctor with Jason - one baby per lap? Or you can take one at a time, since for sick visits, they will presumably not be simultaneously and identically ill.
ReplyDeleteI think if you are currently living your life car-free without significant problems, then babies are unlikely to cause enough problems to merit a car. They will probably require more auto transport than you were doing before, but an amount that still makes taxis cheaper. Thinking through the times we've had to drive specifically to take the baby somewhere that we wouldn't have otherwise gone, the only things that come to mind are playgroup, pediatricians, and daycare. But playgroups and daycare for you will probably be Metro-accessible. And pediatric visits are not that frequent - only six well-visits the first year, plus we probably had about 10 extra sick visits. Even if you have double or triple that number of visits, taxi is still cheaper. Also, if you call an Uber, it's usually a newer car, and newer cars have Latch systems for car seat installation, which allow you to install a car seat in five minutes. You should look into this on the DC mom message boards, or post a question about it. I'm sure mothers in DC have many thoughts about this issue. It seems to me like you should at least wait and see how life with the twins plays out before buying the car. It's a lot of money to spend on something you're not sure you'll use. You probably won't have tons of time to shop for cars after the babies come, but if you do the research and pick what you want now, it will be easier to buy it later if you do decide you need it.
I sort of drive to work; Seb drops me off on the days I teach. Cville is not very walkable from where we live, so we use the car every day. (Although just last week, I took the baby to the pediatrician on the bus. But it took an extra hour.) Besides, we got a car years before we got a baby, in San Diego, where, unlike DC, you cannot survive one day without a car.
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/356833.page#4574250
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/119804.page#1011721
ReplyDeleteBut you could take the bus to campus, right? It's just more convenient to drive/get dropped off?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the links. Seems like many of the urban moms got cars once they had two kids though.
I appreciate your commitment to my car-free lifestyle. (Not sarcasm, more people should very seriously evaluate the costs and benefits of car ownership.) I think you're right that it would be technically possible. But it sounds like a hassle.
I can take the bus to work, but the morning schedule is not convenient; I would have to leave at 7:30 for a 9 am class. On non-teaching days, I do take it. Also, work is pretty much the only place I can take the bus - it doesn't go to the daycare or to the grocery store (although that will soon change) or to the place where all the other stores are.
ReplyDeleteDon't you think it's b/c the two kids were different ages though that the car became necessary? Once you have to start dropping them off at different places - schools, activities, lessons, friend's houses - I can see the use of a car b/c you don't want to have to take public transit all the way somewhere, go back home, and then return to pick the kid up, all with the younger baby in tow. I do think you'll eventually have to get one, as all these DC Urban Moms did. But you don't often drop infants off anywhere, and you can't even go places like the grocery store with them until 6-8 weeks anyway.
It's true that a car may ease some hassles, but also create new ones. I'm less committed to your car-free lifestyle (since I think that will eventually come to an end anyway) than concerned that you're going to spend a ton of money on something before you know whether it will be worth the cost to you, especially since you say you have no other regular use for it. I think you should wait to see if you really need it first, and delay the purchase as long as possible.