Two days till week 30! A week with a three in it was my goal when I found out I was 50% effaced at week 26, and got steroid shots in case I delivered within 7 days. My next goals are week 32, after which I will relax a lot, and then 34, after which I have no goals.
Both twins passed their profiles yesterday, and there was no growth measure, which I appreciate, because repeatedly being told baby girl is too small gets me down. Next week they have both profiles and growth measures, sigh. I have gotten better about relaxing in between appointments, but the day of, I am a mess, because there is the possibility that it will end in me being transferred for an emergency C-section. At yesterday's appointment, the boy was actually the more worrisome one, because he was asleep for most of the exam, and they had to count his movements. He didn't wake up even after being prodded with the ultrasound wand, and since even the slightest potential issue sets me off now (thanks, doctors and ultrasounds!) I had a mini panic attack. But then I drank some apple juice and he woke up. Then I came home and self-soothed with cheesecake.
Since being referred to the specialist and being put on reduced activity, a lot of women have told me their own complication horror stories. These are scary, but much more interesting than the "natural childbirth, doula, I know some twins" stories I had been hearing before, which are just boring. How is it that so many people have these "rare" issues?! Detached placentas, incompetent cervixes, bed rest for months, water breaking late in the second trimester.... I have met two women whose livers stopped working due to pregnancy, and the doctors knew because they had bile seeping out of the pores of their skin! This is all among my acquaintances, not people I have met at the maternal fetal specialist's office or anything. This furthers my contempt for the natural childbirth mantra of "your body knows what to do, nature is perfect!" In these instances, their bodies most certainly did not know what to do, and without medical intervention, their babies would likely have died.
Basically, all of the things that annoyed me before about this process annoy me even more now. Two people who I know (and like!) have expressed to me their absolute devastation at being told they have/had to be induced at 39 weeks due to some health issues, because this is just not the way they envisioned their labor to be. Pregnancy hormones can make people over-emotional, so I try to be supportive, but I am SO not the audience for this. I want to say, "are you kidding me? I have been trying my very best not to deliver three months early. 39 weeks is a pipe dream for me. Get over yourself."
Similarly, my doula has been a source of annoyance since this diagnosis as well. I get that her role is to be supportive during delivery, and because I don't really care about the delivery, we don't have that much to discuss. I want her to basically be a logistics manager, especially in a NICU situation, since Jason is unlikely to be conscious/capable of this. After sharing the diagnosis, she came over to discuss plans, and asked about what types of scented candles we like, comforting lighting, music choices, etc. Again, I get that this is part of what she does, but let's look at the hierarchy of needs- we had just gotten news that our children might be very premature and may not be healthy. Why would I care about candles?! And then she asked if I had my hospital bag packed, because maybe I should start taking it to appointments, which made me cry. Afterward, she sent me an email saying that a planned C-section (which I don't have?) could be "such a blessing." What does that even mean? Ugh.
While on the topic of things that frustrate me, I have been reading Happiest Baby on the Block. Like What to Expect When You Are Expecting, I somehow expected this to be a serious book, based on actual research, but really, it is pop science written in a breezy, grating way. I don't doubt the techniques- they seem pretty basic and intuitive- but the assertions are in no way based on actual research. Maybe at some point I will stop being surprised about this and just accept that in the realm of maternal and infant health, there is a distressing lack of actual, rigorous research, as well as experts able to speak to issues without being totally obnoxious. This book says you should use pacifiers because African tribeswomen strap infants to their chest and nurse them up to 100 times a day, and those babies don't have colic. If you cannot manage this type of Earth Mother approach, a pacifier is a decent substitute. Also, all of the language is directed to "Mom," which seems totally unnecessary in a book about baby care, which can be done by a variety of caregivers.
I'm planning to go to a baby shower this weekend. Hopefully I can keep my mouth shut since I am such a joy about childbearing at the moment.
30! I often think about whether the twinnies are still in there during my work week.
ReplyDeleteWhat is this obsession with packed hospital bags that people have? Is it just some way of making you feel like you're in control of something? The hospital will have everything you need, and Jason can always go home and pick up anything extra later.
I think complications of some sort are common, but any particular complication is relatively rare. Two people I talked to before giving birth told me they hemorrhaged after delivery, for example, but for different reasons. On the other hand, I think the majority of women did survive childbirth before modern medicine even with some complications, so maybe obstetric knowledge was not as abysmal as we think, it just wasn't properly scientific. Maybe in some ways it's good that childbirth and childrearing haven't been thoroughly scientized. If they were, don't you think a lot of the certainty would be ultimately false and unfounded anyway?
I was induced at 39 weeks and I am not happy about it, though not b/c of the timing.
Yes! Everything that can be controlled should definitely be as controlled as possible.
ReplyDeleteA simple majority survival rate is pretty abysmal!
Why? Miriam was already giant. She wouldn't have been easier to get out later.
But this is not even a real object of control. You do not need any of the things that are recommended for hospital bags, like extra pillows (the hospital has plenty of extra pillows) except maybe a bathrobe b/c the gowns are too thin.
ReplyDeleteI think it was more than a simple majority, but my point is just that I suspect that pre-modern medicine actually knew of and had ways of addressing some of these complications. I also thought that no one seemed to know anything about pregnancy when I was pregnant (like when everything was blamed on "hormones" with no further explanation) but I'm not sure this is exactly due to a lack of rigorous research, except insofar as it's very unethical to do pretty much any kind of rigorous experimental research on pregnant women, and that obstacle is maybe not one we necessarily want to overcome.
Not induced out of nowhere, but my water broke and I was not yet in labor. If your water breaks first, you have a 24-hour delivery deadline and if it doesn't come out on its own, they take it out.
I agree with you about the bag, although I still have one packed, and it includes a cushy robe.
ReplyDeleteWhat would you have preferred had happened after your water broke?
I am stalking this girl on facebook who just had identical twins, and her water broke at 26 weeks.
I would have preferred 1) a doula and some pain-management training (which is why I recommended this to you), 2) more time to have natural labor, 3) more time generally. I don't know if it would've changed the outcome, but still. I do not think these issues will be that relevant to you though. If one of the twinnies is breach, extra time probably won't help.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to the girl you're stalking after her water broke?
If you want to do all that as a VBAC the next time around, you should probably go with a midwife practice, and not an OB. They are not so strict about the 24 hour infection risk. I have a co-worker who wanted all those things the second time around, so she did that, although I have to say, it sounds like she was in active labor for like 4 days and then still had a C-section. You must actually be very near death after that many days in active labor.
ReplyDeleteTo deliver twins vaginally, the lower twin has to be head down, at a minimum. My lower twin is breech, although I guess she could still move. However, I canceled the hospital birth class and did not register for the high risk birthing class my doula recommended. I just do not care about the process at this point, and also, discussing potential problems and risks causes me stress, and I am trying to avoid more stress.
They were able to delay her labor somehow for almost three weeks while in the hospital, and then her twins came late in week 28 at a little over 3 pounds. She thinks they will be in the NICU for about 3 months. She was in the hospital for 30(!) days due to water breaking, C-section recovery, and then subsequent infection recovery. I wish she updated more!
Water breaking early seems to be a bigger issue with multiples. I think maybe there are just more limbs flailing around to potentially rupture things early?
I know, I've vaguely thought about what I might do differently next time around but then Goomba turned into a toddler and required all my thought-effort, so no conclusion was drawn.
ReplyDeleteWould you die from extended labor? I thought labor from the mother's perspective is basically just intense uterine contractions, and not other physiological symptoms? The baby could die, maybe, depending on its position and amount of fluid, but why would you? Wouldn't you just be in terrible pain?
Also, how can you delay labor after your water breaks? I didn't even know this was possible. Can they sew up your amniotic sac? Or tip you upside down so the fluid stays in?
It definitely sounds like you would prefer midwives (who deliver at a hospital!). Not too much thinking required- put out a message to a local mom's group or listserv and ask for recs. This is seemingly all women in DC talk about, even if you don't ask. I could tell you the pros and cons of about 5 different midwife groups and hospitals in the area, and give you a list of 20 recommended doulas, and I don't even care.
ReplyDeleteBeing in terrible pain and not eating for 4 days qualifies as near death for me. I don't see why I would put myself through that.
I don't know, but they do! When your water breaks before 37 weeks, it's called pPROM. If it's before 32 or 33 weeks, they try to delay labor as long as possible, somehow, if the baby can tolerate it. It doesn't always work. I guess if it's a slow leak, they can manage it better?